ode to 2013: the chrysalis stage

the beginning was an end – the end to a creative challenge and a test of self – the foundations were at the infantile stages of testing – the birth of something so new – so unknown

the exploration began – asking: how can psychedelia and erotica intertwine to create cohesive enticing imagery?


this curiosity morphed into many mediums – many paths it became more than simply creating an image – the process – growing into situations that appeared to be uncomfortable – a genre of art that I could not create without others participation and openness

ideas that had occurred 5 years previous were coming into fruition
this is where I first felt home – I knew it was important – it drew me back in – to make me something of its own
we drove through the night to be here – at your origin – to experience what life had previously been for you prior to our paths finding a crossroad

you showed us old memories – we mapped out new ones –

your bed became a nightly shared space for the four of us –

a communion of sorts

you met us two hours north of your home – and brought me back with you – 8 or so moon cycles had passed since you first entered my life –


you lied to your parents so that we could visit this place of love – a singular man’s creation – you let me sleep during the four searing hot hours of desert driving- thank you

after feeling overwhelmed by 3 days of Los Angeles you drove me back north to Ojai – the nest of the moon


the fleeting days of southern sun were filled with hiking and rejuvenation in sulfur springs – we headed back north

we made stops along the way – to climb big ocean rocks and see others we loved – California felt like an entire country – endless exploration
nearly two weeks and one car later we returned to the woods – we gathered – we cooked – we loved each other
and just like that we were three months deep into this rotation – unknown friends left secrets – reminders of the importance

I acquired a new medium to create – you trusted me enough to permanently mark your body – this was the establishment of something life long – you become more important with each lunar phase – my time had come to leave the woods once again – this time it felt near to impossible

I felt removed – from my geographical location – from myself – creating – I learned how difficult it is to try and explain intangible forces that make us shift – I continued to explore past projections – existing somewhere between desiring to and having to
attempts to keep myself in a constant state of creation – weekly – daily – hourly – time was disappearing – my mind carried a dormancy – thoughts subsided


_DSC0777– but perhaps this is what it took for me to explore – losing myself in 12+ hour days – working two jobs on top of school – not telling you how I felt – running to the point that I came close to forgetting what it meant to breathe – to be – darkness cannot exist without light – new human connections were forming – they would sustain themselves through this strange time of transience

I found love and appreciation in something I had never felt connected to – you challenged a new part of me – you taught and showed – thank you

the past 6 years of my life had built up to this – it looked as disorganized and separated as I felt – surreal emotions at their finest

I never showed up for my last day of that 6 year period – simply so that the sun could imprint lingerie on your skin while I captured the last time all 12 would be together – I still think they are some of the best I’ve taken
6 years – 2,190 days – 52,560 hours – and it was finally finished – it disappeared like the blink of an eye

we had unknowingly picked up the same new medium – we exchanged hexagrams – you’ll always be there

the end made me feel more connected with you than any one point in the past 6 rotations

the spark of traveling together lead to two weeks west – Mill Valley sun illuminated our minds
we tried finding the redwoods only to end up in a strange dry patch of bushes – dirt – and insects that liked the way we tasted – we left to dance on a deck in the summer moon light with the aroma of eucalyptus and crisp ocean breeze embracing us
we headed north – old and new met – we left permanence on our friends and didn’t realize the amount of love we had for that place and those people until we were on the road again
a day spent playing in a flower garden is never a bad day
after a little over a week of being on the road – I made my return to the woods – except now you were with me – you got to see and experience first hand the place I was growing to love so – our time west was coming to close and I knew that I would make my home there come fall
sometimes incredible people are met through strange digital interfaces – you were one of them – you came back from Olympia with us – one strange night in Montana and a day later – we were in the heat of city summer – you stayed with me for three weeks
we cut out hundreds of eyes that night in preparation to decorate a warehouse – being around you has taught me a lot about love and how it feels
IMG_5661you showed us red rivers and indian paintbrushes – we fell asleep in the sun and created pathways through plants bigger than myself – you are so much sunshine

we found a new way to love each other as friends

our connection is not one I originally expected but has grown to be so important – creating with you has been so playful and full of inspiration – thank you for the countless nights of nude creations, projections, weird articles of clothing, roof tops, and conversation

IMG_6297 I began learning the art of working with medicinal herbs to create skin care and tinctures – this became a new love – something that I believe will come back around
the erotica exploration continued – the collection was building

we left again – this time we were headed straight to the red desert – we made a temporary home inside one of the beautiful red formations – we climbed to the setting sun
two nights of sand storms and feeling some what unrelaxed we left our ephemeral desert home and headed to Salt Lake City – this place held many unexpected relationships and became the corner of this cycle – it was the first of many exchanges – what are the chances that out of 23,00 others you were the one standing too tall in front of me? – the star falling from the sky told me it wasn’t based on chance

we acted on your streak of spontaneity – without thinking we drove all night to see the pastels of the dawning desert – there was little to no time in those 48 hours to find the darkness in front of our eyes – it was still hard for you – 12 hours feels like an eternity when that tension is created

it felt abundant – we painted your walls like you used to – a memory re experienced – a new memory

through the appreciation of each others creative endeavors the transient digital barrier connected us – it blossomed into collaboration and perhaps a future crossroad of physical paths

the long days were fleeting – we left imagining 5 weeks of road ahead – after hours of singing improv songs and playing instruments we didn’t know how to play we found ourselves central – almost in a confusion of how we had landed there – we passed the time with fun made of holographic sticker scraps and closed coffee shop doors – learning how to hunt for spiders and laughing at the over exaggerated future of the natural world as narrated in a british accent – departing for the west thinking the future truly existed – a semi came in from the left like a curve ball and made us reevaluate – you took us in for the night – your mother so kind and nourishing – it was the first I had seen you in a rotation and then some – we pretended to know and the universe showed us differently – one near death experience and 4 days later we found ourselves back at home

neither of us felt the longing to be there – in fact we both felt quite the opposite – you left for the west – and an 8 year dream of mine actualized itself – it felt uncannily meant to be – as if we had been thrown into some cosmic machine of alignment – my love grew and so did the tiredness in me – I needed rest – it was all closing in so quickly


and just like that I found myself living in the woods – in a personal paradise with fertile potential – I slept for two weeks – there was so much to absorb – there is so much to absorb

cory // chicago
I came to your definition of home for October – I was still tired – I still needed rest – somehow being there gave me a sense of closure – turned off the dormancy in my mind – the dam had been broken down

olympia // san francisco
it had been somewhat of a last minute decision to visit you on my way back from the midwest – perhaps some part of me knew how much my love for you was going to grow – you are so much light



I carried so much internal rebirth home with me – strange times welcomed me back – we were entering winter – a time for fertile death – so many discoveries being made – so much growth in the dark


I was re learning how to create – it was the unexplored everlasting void that I committed my time to – we delved into the trinity of creation – how could we channel that? – meeting the artists between each of us

and just like that we settled in the deep magick of the darkest days of the year – our foundation was being rebuilt – you took me to the coast for the first time – the horizon was white and vast with no end – change was present

we returned to our roots – they felt harsh and strange – I felt removed – this wasn’t home anymore but it held some form of comfort – some facet of familiarity – the snake came back around – loose ends were tied – a weaving finished

reminded of the beauty that bloomed in this rotation – the beings we were reconnected with – ancient acquaintances – kindred souls – we gathered one last time to create – love – share – discuss the horizons of the approaching horse

it rushed out – many of us had been in this room 2 rotations prior – there was still something so familiar about you – as we were formally introduced for the first time it felt like a skipping track – something we had done before – how many times we had been occupying the same space unknowingly – I still don’t understand completely – the mystery is the beauty of the human connection


the cyclical nature of this rotation peaked the window of eternity – we are in a constant rotation within ourselves and each other – we have been observing the door way – and now we will step through


2 thoughts on “ode to 2013: the chrysalis stage

  1. I love your blog, I feel like I live with you throughout the experience. sends so much energy through my every molecule.
    I just met someone named Oliver that referred me to your site when we met in Miami, Fl. keep the vibes flowin~
    Thank you for reminding me how divine life is from all corners of the world.

  2. Supernatural mystic magus priestess angel weaver of love inspiration. You fill me, dear kindred, with innate knowingness, with a dream that I walk with the stillness between each breath.

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